foofoo

holy moly

2007-03-06T10:33:00.000-08:00

i've had a strict code of non-offensive lanuage, you think that using the word 'holy' might be offensive? anyway, HI THERE. i just wanted to make a post stating that the archive frame is now active on the right! YOU SEE! so now all the posts are not all on this page. wondefuntabulous don't you think? no? er. i didn't link! LINK. that's it for now.

LAWSUIT

2007-02-08T12:22:00.000-08:00

YOU CANNOT STOP ME WITH YOUR FRIVOLOUS BULLCHICKEN!!!
http://www.palomas-baltimore.com
see that, i link the link the loop de loop poop

today, i cracked my back and had a PALOMAS FLASHBACK WHOAWWOWOWOWOWOWWHAO

i was sitting at the bar in my high chair while river fed me my bottle spiked with yogi dmt and sang a lullaby that sounded much like morbid angel at half speed. i felt like i was inside the womb of a fetus that had been ejected into a petree dish and then artificially inseminated into a baboon. it was the kind of bliss you'd experience when on crack and being with 80 year old street walkers. all of a sudden, it was there, a mass of fruit flies with the density of a bowling ball hovering over top of the beer taps. i stared in fear as they started swarming in geometric shapes much like pentagrams and hypercubes combined as one. what was i talking about, oh yes!
i saw river's daughter. she's cute. she made sense in a world that did not make sense. she explained that-OH GOD RIVER IS DOING LINES OF PIXIE STICKS OFF MY BELLYYYYYYYY!!!!!chkchk

anyway. i'm not sure where i was going. i wonder how business is going and how their 15 dollar all you can drink anything is going. if i may, i'd reccomend the johnny walker red. should be roughly 8 bucks a shot. i'd get it in a pint glass with ice. mmmm yummy.

I'd like to take this opportunity...

2007-02-07T12:32:00.000-08:00

to say VAN SMITH IS THE MOST AWESOME PERSON ON THE PLANET!! (that's two chks) i don't know what he looks like or what but i do know that he works for city paper and has been a consistant help, whether he knows it or not, to my life mission of making me smile with new articles. yes, i'm talking about
VAN SMITH FROM THE CITY PAPER (citypaper.com)
yes. van, if you could, if you find this, if you would, could you, would you, please, leave a comment on my blog. PLEEAASEEE? you are my hero! if you need any dirt, i can supply it... like from my back yard... you know?

anyway...oh no, i forgot a hyperlink like http://www.palomas-baltimore.com whew, that was close. here is my mission:

1. To inform the public of the evil spread from the source of evil.
2. To inform the evil of the spread of public from the evil source.
3. To learn more ways to keep people from putting their life in danger.
4. To make Van Smith's statements more valid through use of onomotepia (BANG).
5. To make Journey tolerable while on Palomas roofies.
6. To convince every man, woman, and child that just because you can open a business does not mean that you're automatically honest.

WUBBA WUBBA WHERE'D THE SERIOUS COME FROM! I MUST....MUST..... CLUB MY HEAD WITH THE CLAW SIDE OF A HAMMER.

PALOMAS WHY?????????///???///12/@?@@@2/!!111

THE JOB IS NOT YET DONE!!!!111!

2007-02-02T09:50:00.000-08:00

oh god, they're still here!

PALOMAS

HERE IS STORY!: (excalmation followed by colon? UNHEARD OF UNLESS IT'S LIQUOR RELATED....HEY IT IS!)

Penury at Paloma's
Legal Troubles for Owners of Baltimore Nightclub
By Van Smith

The debts keep mounting at Paloma's, the erstwhile Mount Vernon nightclub that reopened last spring in the Mount Clare neighborhood in Southwest Baltimore ("Club Dreams," Mobtown Beat, May 3, 2006). Last August, the parents of Jason Crebs, one of the club's liquor licensees and a partner in a proposed deal to open a larger club called Eris on South Monroe Street, won a court judgment of nearly $265,000 against the remaining partners, Martha River Bitton Fogle and Robert A. Fogle Jr. ("River Runs Dry," Quick and Dirty, Aug. 23, 2006). In November, that judgment was superseded by a lesser amount--nearly $143,000--that remains contested, and the case is scheduled for trial on Valentine's Day. Bitton and her husband, Robert Fogle, have gone through two attorneys in the case, the second one withdrawing in early January after a $5,000 check they cut to him bounced.

In December, Wachovia Bank sued Spanky 817 LLC, the company that operates Paloma's, for nearly $17,500 due to overdrafts on the company's checking account. That case is scheduled for trial on March 7. Bitton (whose last name is also spelled Biton in many records) has other active judgments against her totaling about $71,000, some of them dating back to the mid-1990s, and recently had a writ of garnishment entered against Eris 718 LLC, the company formed to operate the stalled Eris nightclub proposal, in a case involving nearly $19,000 that dates back to 2001, when Paloma's was still located on Eager Street. On top of that, Bitton, Fogle, and Crebs (none of whom could be reached for this article) presumably remain responsible for $10,000 per month payments on the $1.8 million purchase of the Monroe Street properties that were intended to house Eris.

OH GOD!!!1 WHY CAN'T THEY JUST GO AWAY! (shouldn't that be a question mark? (like that? (and that? (and-STOP THAT...give me closing parenthesis))))

here's a statement, from someone that once went to palomas!

Hi. My friend and I used to be in charge of weekly entertainment at this establishment. My friend had signed a contract in order to supply permanent entertainment for one year for an undisclosed amount. I personally ran one of these shows one night and was told that I would be paid a certain amount for this. It was a small amount but was still needed because of difficulties I had at the time. However, River refused to pay me for my services. She had said there were only 4 people that night... however, there were at least 4 people that I knew personally. At one point, I counted 50 people and that wasn't even PEAK. In my personal opinion, she is a liar, a manipulator, and a thief. I wanted to believe in her and not listen to everyone that said that she's bad business. I didn't open my eyes. My friend's boss had a band that used to deal with Palomas and did a New Year's eve show which they refused to pay the agreed amount. After refusing to leave for 5 hours, they finally brought the money for them (although, it was not the full amount). Not only was there the lying, but there was the drug sales, the weird sexual things in the back, underage drinking, and other things. When the place was up and running, it was like Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. Otherwise, the establishment without the flashy lights and decent sound system was very shady in a very shady neighborhood. I again, was in denial. Everyone told me that was a bad part of town. I looked at the crime rate. It's pretty bad. To close my statement, I'm not saying to boycott the Palomas bar. I'm saying to remove this person from being able to run a business. That's my personal honest opinion. I don't want to see someone fall into the same trap that myself and many others have fallen into. Thank you.
-Sir Digglesworth Hothbottom

since jimmy's job is never done, I SHALL BE HERE FOR YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUU

Celebrities at Palomas?????

2006-10-20T09:51:00.000-07:00

read this article here!!!
Recently, celebrity Mel Gibbons had visited Palomas trying to improve his image and show that he does not truly believe his anti-semetic remarks. After slamming back a few beers River had struck up a deal for him to do advertising for the bar/lounge/torture chamber. Gibbons whole-heartedly accepted for the fee of $15,000 which appeared to be a bargin. Here is a transcript from the commercial:
Hi, I'm Mel Gibbons. You may remember me from movies such as The Lethal Passion for Christ's Weapon and Chim Cham 3. I'm here to tell you about a great bar called Palomas. It has such great environment and in the best parts of Baltimore. We guarantee your safety with reformed sexual offender valet parking and lack of lighting. Here at Palomas, you won't get arrested. In fact, you'll have so much fun, that it's probably illegal. Take it from me, you'll love it.
Shortly after filming, River assured Mr. Gibbons the check was in the mail. To this date, Mr. Gibbons has not recieved his check. In our next story, we'll investigate exactly why Mel Gibbons has started production on the very shocking and controversal "Hitler: My Dear Friend and Teacher".

All You Know About Me Is What I Sold You

2006-10-11T09:09:00.000-07:00

River Button?
Domain Name: MEETMEATPALOMAS.COM
Registrar: ENOM, INC.
Whois Server: whois.enom.com
Referral URL: http://www.enom.com
Name Server: NS4.U-HS.COM
Name Server: NS3.U-HS.COM
Name Server: NS2.U-HS.COM
Name Server: NS1.U-HS.COM
Status: ACTIVE
EPP Status: ok
Updated Date: 09-May-2006
Creation Date: 18-Oct-2005
Expiration Date: 18-Oct-2006

>>> Last update of whois database: Wed, 11 Oct 2006 12:05:09 EDT <<<

NOTICE: The expiration date displayed in this record is the date the
registrar's sponsorship of the domain name registration in the registry is
currently set to expire. This date does not necessarily reflect the expiration
date of the domain name registrant's agreement with the sponsoring
registrar. Users may consult the sponsoring registrar's Whois database to
view the registrar's reported date of expiration for this registration.

TERMS OF USE: You are not authorized to access or query our Whois
database through the use of electronic processes that are high-volume and
automated except as reasonably necessary to register domain names or
modify existing registrations; the Data in VeriSign Global Registry
Services' ("VeriSign") Whois database is provided by VeriSign for
information purposes only, and to assist persons in obtaining information
about or related to a domain name registration record. VeriSign does not
guarantee its accuracy. By submitting a Whois query, you agree to abide
by the following terms of use: You agree that you may use this Data only
for lawful purposes and that under no circumstances will you use this Data
to: (1) allow, enable, or otherwise support the transmission of mass
unsolicited, commercial advertising or solicitations via e-mail, telephone,
or facsimile; or (2) enable high volume, automated, electronic processes
that apply to VeriSign (or its computer systems). The compilation,
repackaging, dissemination or other use of this Data is expressly
prohibited without the prior written consent of VeriSign. You agree not to
use electronic processes that are automated and high-volume to access or
query the Whois database except as reasonably necessary to register
domain names or modify existing registrations. VeriSign reserves the right
to restrict your access to the Whois database in its sole discretion to ensure
operational stability. VeriSign may restrict or terminate your access to the
Whois database for failure to abide by these terms of use. VeriSign
reserves the right to modify these terms at any time.

The Registry database contains ONLY .COM, .NET, .EDU domains and
Registrars.

[whois.enom.com]
=-=-=-=
Visit AboutUs.org for more information about meetmeatpalomas.com
AboutUs: meetmeatpalomas.com

Registration Service Provided By: Ultimate Hosting Solutions
Contact: support@u-hs.com
Visit: http://www.uhsdomains.com

Domain name: meetmeatpalomas.com

Administrative Contact:
Palomas Night Club
River Button-Fogle (river@MeetMeAtPalomas.com)
+1.4106851690
Fax: -
351 South Woodyear Street
Baltimore, MD 21223
US

It would appear River has yet another alias. Bitton, Button, Biton, Martha, etc... Ever since I knew River, she wouldn't give me her phone number like if there was an emergency. Here, it seems, you can get her number. Fortunately, I've found one of her domains are set to expire soon. Who wants to race me to buy it?
In other news, I taste colors now. Thanks Palomas.

Today on my trip to Palomas

2006-10-10T13:56:00.000-07:00

I was walking down Washington Blvd towards Paloma's when what did my eyes see? It was a pair of girls who couldn't be more than 15 trying to proposition me for sex. What ever could I do? So, I did what any normal person my young age would do and take them up on it. We romped and rolled and did the things naughty grown ups do in the Burger King bathroom until the police came and knocked the door down. Reluctantly, I was not charged for renting a prostitute and neither did they but they were charged with statutory rape because they're like 8 years older than me. WHEE the cops bought me a Burger King Octstacker. It's like, 8 pieces of meat, bacon, cheese, ketchup, and heroin. Normally, in most Burger Kings, they don't include the heroin but like everything in that area of town by Palomas, heroin is like parmesan cheese; yummy and plentiful.... so what if it's really Calgon? Anyway, after my altered state of meaty hallucination-filled reality returned to it's normal state of confusion, I staggered my way to Palomas so that I may have a place to sleep. Luckily, the front door was propped and I made my way inside the empty bar to sleep. I mean, you'd think at 8pm that they would have a sign that says open or something and have a bar full of people, heck, a sign that has the name of the bar.... oh well, it makes me sleepy to think about it. Before I sleepy sleep sleep I will reset the unsecured firewall and make it distribute malicious software. *YAWN* Goodnight <3

RRRRRRRRRRIVER BITTON BOTTOM NIGHTMARE BAND

2006-10-07T23:47:00.000-07:00

i saw these guys live, they're so good. i caught the bear poo at the end of the show. tastes like yum!

SEEYOUATPALOMAS.COM

2006-10-07T11:17:00.000-07:00

Daily News:
Baltimore, MD:
It was discovered today that Paloma's bar and esoteric night club on the corners of Woodyear and Ramsay were homes to massive controlled experiments on unsuspecting customers. A man, who wishes to remain nameless had this to say:
"I can drink, I know I can. What I don't understand is why I got drunk off of 2 beers. It was a weird drunk like I had been drugged."
He then commented about how he slumped into the corner of the floored seating room where he had then been molested by persons unknown.
"There was nobody there so I have my suspicions. I think they're doing something with their wine though because I know I've had Shiraz before without projectile vomiting."
It turns out he was correct. If one ventures into the basement, you may see the heart of the taps running into some various filters. Some of them containing Methylenedioxymethamphetamine, Phencyclidine, Sulfuretted hydrogen, and Malassezia furfur. When River Bitton was reached for comment, all she had to say was:
We take what we want
We do anything that we wish
We got no respect
For animal birdy or fish

The grass does not grow
On the places where we stop and stand
River Bottom Nightmare Band

We know we're a mess
But I does not like to be clean
We don't brush our teeth
'Cause our toothache can help us stay mean

We don't wish to learn
But we hate what we don't understand
River Bottom

When you see us comin'
You better startin' runnin'
We're always startin' trouble
And we're happiest when things are outta hand

Rivers are for boilin'
Parties are for spoilin'
We either like to sit and pout
Or else go out and terrorize our land
River Bottom Nightmare Band

We laugh in your face
Or we practice our growl and our sneer
We break up your place
We are dangerous when we are near

And when we are done with our song
Who will get the biggest hand?
Who?
River Bottom Nightmare Band!
River Bottom Nightmare Band!

Please turn your decoder rings to 23:
VHH BRX DW SDORPDV GRW FRP!

Real stuff from the paper about Palomas

2006-10-07T08:52:00.001-07:00

We Get Voice Mail

Hello this is Robert Fogle from Paloma’s. All the invitations that have gone out to the City Paper as of this moment are being rescinded. They are not welcome to our festivities Friday evening, May 5. And Van Smith is also barred from this establishment. He will never be welcome here.

—Phone message left at City Paper offices on Wednesday, May 3, after we published a story by Van Smith about the past and present of Paloma’s night club in Baltimore. Robert A. Fogle Jr. is an owner of the club, which held a grand opening party on May 5.

2006-10-07T08:52:00.000-07:00

Eris
Registered User

Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Baltimore
Posts: 4
GM Position Available
Under construction now, opening fall of 2006; General Manager with experience in nightclub and entertainment industry. venue is in a warehouse;we purchased. capacity is 1,500 plus. in Baltimore city Md. located less than 2min. from 295 and 95. 45 min from D.C. 90 min from Philly. the warehouse takes up a city block has 4 floors. With two gated parking lots and two loading docks. we are leasing out studio space to artist on the other floors; as well as our work space. 410-685-1690. We are willing to assist with relocation expenses for the right candidate.We have another smaller club/lounge, that we operate as well. This is the site for the smaller venue: http://www.seeyouatpalomas.com

Rightontime

Registered User

Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: L.A.
Posts: 2
BEWARE THIS IS A SCAM ARTIST. SHE (River Bitton Fogle)IS USING PEOPLE FOR INFORMATION WITH BIG PROMISES AND IT IS NOTHING MORE THE LIPSERVICE!PLEASE READ THIS ARTICLE FOR MORE INFORMATION. http://www.citypaper.com/news/story.asp?id=11767OR HERE IS THE TEXT FROM THE LOCAL PAPER. Club Dreams The Paloma’s Crew Follows Its Bliss in West Baltimore (But Beware)Paloma’s, the Mount Vernon club whose run on West Eager Street from 1999 to 2003 started strong but fizzled in debt by the end, is planning an invitation-only reopening at its new location May 5. The invitations, which were gift-wrapped and delivered to the City Paper editorial staff April 26, announce that “the spirit and energy of Paloma’s has moved to Sowebo!” The catered, open-bar event promises five DJs, living sculpture, and valet parking. “Industrial sheik attire” is encouraged.The new Paloma’s is marketing itself as “Sowebo’s Esoteric Nightclub,” and its new abode—at Ramsay and Woodyear streets, near the Mount Clare Junction shopping center—has been renovated to fit the bill. The concept and design of the club belongs to a middle-aged self-described artist who calls herself River, and it includes graffiti-style murals on the walls, fabric hanging from the ceilings, high-tech lighting, loungy furniture arrangements, computer stations, and sketch-pads with colored pencils. While the new Paloma’s isn’t actually located in Sowebo—a Hollins Market-centered arts-community concept dating from the 1980s that lives on in the annual Sowebohemian Arts Festival—it’s pretty close.River, in an April 30 telephone interview, points out that, unlike the original Paloma’s, she is not a part of the business running the new club. The liquor license is held by others: River’s daughter Charity Deeb, 34; a 26-year-old Ellicott City guitarist named Jason B. Crebs; and a 45-year-old man River calls her husband, Robert A. Fogle Jr., who says he works for BGE. Fogle, she emphasizes, is the main owner of the business. “I’m involved with Paloma’s in the concept and design,” she explains. “But my husband is the one who wanted to make it happen.” River lives upstairs, above the club.The reason River isn’t officially involved with Paloma’s is because she’s consumed with “other projects,” according to its liquor-license application. She is preparing to open another club, Eris, in October. “I’m the owner of Eris,” River says, though both Fogle and Crebs appear in official documents as partners in Eris. She sketches out her plans: a 1,500-capacity live-music venue on the 500 block of South Monroe Street, about 10 blocks west of Paloma’s, where River says she plans to showcase “national and seminational acts,” drawing crowds from Washington. She and Fogle and Crebs, operating as Monroe Street Properties LLC, have already closed on the real estate for Eris—a $1.8 million multiple-property deal with a $200,000 down payment to former owner Abdolreza Parvizian, a D.C.-based rug merchant who, River says, holds the note for the transaction. The loan involves $10,000 payments each month, with the balance due after two years. On top of the $350,000 deal for the Paloma’s property, these transactions add up to rather large commitments to draw entertainment revenue from West Baltimore. “We have some investors,” River explains, without elaborating, and adds that part of her enterprising spirit is to bring life to neglected places. If Eris’ business plan, which was submitted to the Baltimore City Board of Liquor License Commissioners during its ongoing licensing process, is borne out, it would be a surprising shift in the neighborhood’s lagging fortunes. In its first year of operating, the plan states, Eris will host “at least five high-profile, sell-out concerts of nationally recognized acts, such as Moby,” a famous electronic musician. A look at River’s previous stabs at success suggests that her plans should perhaps be taken with a grain of salt. As the original Paloma’s was withering, River’s attempt to gain federal bankruptcy protection in 2002 failed. (City Paper was listed as a creditor in that case, but publisher Don Farley says the $1,180 owed was written off as bad debt.) According to Maryland court records, River has a total of 13 outstanding judgments against her, some dating back to the mid-’90s, for a total of more than $82,500, not including interest and attorneys’ fees. Those cases are against River personally, and do not include judgments against her various defunct companies. Fogle, meanwhile, emerged from bankruptcy protection in 2000.Judy Laylon, a retired Harford County public-school teacher, is one of River’s creditors. The wife of retired postal worker and military veteran Leonard Laylon of Bel Air holds a $16,000 judgment against River. Because she is hard of hearing, Leonard Laylon answered questions for her. “When the judge ordered [the judgment]” in 2004, Leonard Laylon recalls, “we thought we could find this woman, but she stayed one step ahead of us.” After loaning the $16,000—which Leonard says Judy Laylon did because she believed her brother Caitlyn Lance Antrim, a postoperative transsexual son of a former U.S. Navy admiral and an international-law expert, was a partner in Paloma’s—the Laylons came to the conclusion that they’d been duped. Although Antrim was a Paloma’s liquor licensee, the Laylons later decided that the business, in fact, was all River’s. (As of press time, Antrim could not be reached for comment.) “I was told so many stories” about the ownership of the business and the real estate, Leonard says over the phone, “that I’m not sure what to believe.” In the background, Judy Laylon proclaims, “I want my money!” Another creditor, Hail Haleem, was River’s landlord in Rockville in the mid-’90s. He says she parsed out partial payments on the monthly rent during her entire tenancy. “I’ve been following her ever since” says Haleem, who won a $10,437 judgment against her, plus interest, in 1995. “I’ve never written it off,” he says, adding that “this is the first time I’m actually learning that she’s in Baltimore.” River, when asked about the court judgments against her, says that “things aren’t always as they appear.” Which brings up another issue: her real name. Records of past charges against her for driving while intoxicated, passing bad checks, and theft (she pleaded guilty and received probation before judgment in the 1994 DWI case, and prosecutors declined to pursue the other charges, dating from 1999 and 2002) show her legal name to be Martha Jane Biton. In more recent liquor board and corporate records, she is listed as “Martha River Bitton Fogle” or “River Fogle.” This confusion was one of several “material misstatements” that were unearthed during Eris’ licensing process that were brought up in a liquor board investigative report from last fall. The city liquor board, as a result of the report, is awaiting clarification pending license approval. To explain her various names, River says she “went through a spiritual cleansing and was given a new name” a few years back. In the process, she continues, “a little girl named Martha Jane went away. I released her, and I released her pain, and I let her go. She’s free now, but River does exist.”Haleem, meanwhile, is happy to have learned her various new names— he says when he knew her she was “Marti Biton”—because now he can look forward to pursuing repayment. “I want her to succeed,” Haleem says of River’s new enterprises, “because that just makes it better for collections.” Thank you and sorry for the bad news.David LeBlanc

from: http://www.nightclub-business.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2701

When Moby was reached to comment about this, he said:

"I'm a famous electronic musician?"

Palomas: The Breakfast Cereal: The Movie: The Ride: The Haiku

2006-10-06T20:16:00.000-07:00

You smell the wood chips,
fart smells, and all the fruit flies.
Roofies in the beer.

You make us angry.
You should go fnck yourself with
a dogsh!t d!ldo

And now, a word from our sponsor:

Hi, my name is Jimmy. I'm a Palomas kid. I was once tortured and raped and forced to clean floors at this bar in South-West Baltimore with my tongue but thanks to the helpful hands of the mafia, I have changed ownership. That's right! No longer will I be supressed by crazy lying shady people but now I will be supressed by truthful obvious law breaking Italians......and Japanese! See, before, when I had an ingrown toenail, I had to bite it off with one of those toy things... you know, it was like a stick with a chicken head on it and you squeeze the trigger and it makes the mouth open in close. Now, my good friend Don Donnie blasts it off with a high caliber hand gun and cheese whiz. What I'm saying is, I'd rather be beaten to death by the mob than suffer another day with the River Bottom Nightmare band. Thanks Don Donnie!

Now, I will replace the humour left out of this post with a series of smiley faces.

RIVER: >8D
ME: <:O
OLD MAN THAT TALKS TO HIMSELF: B-|
DOG THAT EATS MY SOUL: 3BP

2006-10-06T12:52:00.000-07:00

Palomas

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

Palomas is a night club in Baltimore that generates very little traffic and has been known for it's shady deals and illegal practices.

[edit]

River Bottom Nightmare Band

The owner, whom has named herself River consistantly promises great things and is most known upon first meeting as a very likeable person. General concensus and personal experience with other people, however, shows that she involves herself with illegal practice and very poor promotion. One such example was a weekly show that was very successful but was modified in order to try and pull in more traffic. This was known as one of the 14 Greatest Blunders Ever Made. According to the Chim Cham Times.

[edit]

Unrelenting Assault

2006-10-06T12:16:00.000-07:00

~~www.seeyouatpalomas.com~~
D4MMIT DON'T LINK THAT ANYMORE!
ALERT ALERT! NEW PALOMAS LOCATED! SH!T, IAN, ON SCREEN
/////NEW PALOMAS MEXICAN DEVISION\\\\\\\(wavy monitor lines)
SET MISSLES FOR SPICY!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~=> (it's an ascii missle!)
DUCK AND COVER!
'SPLODE
One more win for grate justice!

Y HALO THAR

2006-10-06T11:35:00.000-07:00

Arr me mateys. Come aboard and y'ar see th'trouble be brewing in thar cities, ya hear? AVAST A HYPER LINK!
www.seeyouatpalomas.com
I thinks we be safe from har. As I was spouting- DEAREST DAVEY JONES! SHE'S GETTING CLOSER!
www.seeyouatpalomas.com

Egads men! All hands be at y'ar battle stations! We be under attack!
www.seeyouatpalomas.com
PREPARE FOR YE IMPACT!
www.seeyouatpalomas.com

YA''RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! SHE'S BROKEN MY IMAGE TAG!

ALL HANDS ABANDON SHIP! THAR BE MORE!
www.seeyouatpalomas.com
www.seeyouatpalomas.com

MY HANDS WON'T FIT AROUND YOUR NECK

2006-10-06T11:08:00.000-07:00

YO YO YO
Comments from the email about this site:

From: Paul Stapleton
Dear Jimmy,
I'm offended. The things you write about this place in Baltimore make no sense. I've tried to buy crack in the bathroom like you suggested but the machine seemed to be broke. Also, I do have to commend the foreknowledge you gave me on the glory holes in the women's bathroom along with the two-way mirrors. Other than that, you can go to hell!!
Dear Paul,
I love your italics tag. Makes me smile. By the way, were you at the right Palomas? I heard they moved a little while ago to hide from the FBI. Thanks for the email! My shoes smell like patchouli!

From: Sean Gibbons
Dear Jimmy,
CLICK HERE! YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY WON!
Dear Sean,
AWESOME! I LIKE FREE BECAUSE IT IS WHAT I AM WHEN I'M NOT IN A CAGE! THANKS!

WHAT MORE? OKAY!

2006-10-06T10:20:00.000-07:00

Today, at Palomas, I discovered a new game. It's called urinal skeet shooting. This is how you play:
You pull lint out of your bellybutton (or ass if you're suffieciently stinky) and drop it eye level towards the urinal (optional: the word "PULL"). As it floats towards it's watery grave, actively try to knock it out of the sky with a stream off pee.

WHAT A FUN GAME!

We interrupt nap time with Pappy Screwit for this important news broadcast:
DECEPTION, DRUG ADDICTION, MURDERING HOPES AND DREAMS, PALOMAS.
okay, back to your regularly scheduled drama

Pappy: Hey kids, where do you wanna go?
Kids: I wanna go to where they put the dogs to sleep!
Pappy: How about a href="http://www.palomas-baltimore.com"?
Kids: Was that a hypertext link that came out of your mouth?
Pappy: Sorry kids, I've been spewing bile all day

FROM CITAYPAPUH LOLOLLloo!L1

2006-10-06T07:46:00.000-07:00

Westward Ho

Back in its heyday, Paloma�s was as hot as the hottest tech stocks. That�s when, in our 2000 Best of Baltimore issue, City Paper awarded it Best Groove Spot and Best Place to Score (dates, not drugs), and waxed in a review that the live-entertainment destination was a �beautiful venue filled with beautiful people.� It had opened in 1999 on Mount Vernon�s Eager Street, taking over the space that had been Fabulous Follies, a restaurant staffed by lingerie-clad ladies that had briefly taken residence there after the long tenancy of the venerable Eager House. Just like those tech stocks, and at around the same time, Paloma�s tanked.

By the time the Nose last wrote about the club, in the spring of 2003, it was already gone, its demise hastened, we wrote, after Paloma�s had �copped a punk-tinged reggae-faire attitude that seemed hard on business and rough on the real estate.� (�Meager House,� March 26, 2003) Since then, the owners�led by a 51-year-old self-described artist whose name, according to liquor board records, is River Biton Fogle�opened up shop as Paloma�s Underground in another former strip club, this one on Sparrows Point Road in Dundalk.

Now, River and her crew are buying a bar in Southwest Baltimore, the former M.R. Shooters at Ramsey and Woodyear streets, right near the Mount Clare Junction shopping center. It�s a rough, violent, very poor neighborhood, where drugs and prostitution are the bedrock of the local economy. The bar is half a block west of South Carey Street, which the locals call �Scarey Street.� (�Scarey Street,� Feb. 26, 2003) Drug-treatment services are provided in the shopping center, attracting a large population of itinerant clients, who are housed in scattered, unregulated group homes and constantly tempted by hard-working dealers.

�This neighborhood speaks to me,� River told the Nose as we stood outside of her new bar on June 29. �I chose this neighborhood.� She�s plunked herself down and, apparently, is optimistic about the prospects for success�despite the distinctive demographic, so different from Mount Vernon. �Hey,� she points out, �the gays told us a straight club would never work on Eager Street.� The Nose had to hold back from pointing out that history shows the gays were probably right. But we wish her better luck this time. Given the $350,000 purchase price of M.R. Shooters, and the liquor license�s prohibition on live entertainment, she�s going to need it.

J00 NO W0T DIZ M33NZ? J0R LIEF IZ IN D4NJUR1!!!!13 WAWAWAWAWAEEAWAAAWJ00 HEP UZZZ!!1

PALOMAS SAMOLAP OHGOD NOT AMBIGRAM

2006-10-06T07:37:00.000-07:00

I STAND ALONE against your mad, deadly, worldwide conspiratorial Gangster Computer God Communism with wall-to-wall deadly Gangster protection, life-long sworn conspirators, Murder Incorporated, organized crime, the police and judges, the Deadly Sneak Parroting Puppet Gangsters using all the Gangster deadly Frankenstein controls! These hangmanrope sneak deadly gangsters, the judges and the police, trick, trap, rob, wreck, butcher, and MURDER the people to keep them TERRORIZED in Gangster Frankenstein earphone radio slavery for the Communist Gangster Government and con-artist Parroting Puppet Gangster-playboy scum-on-top! The secret work of all police, in order to maintain a Communist "closed society"! The same worldwide mad deadly Communist gangster computer god that controls YOU as a terrorized Gangster Frankenstein Earphone Radio slave! Parroting Puppet, you are a terrorized member of the "MASTER RACE" worldwide 4 BILLION eye-sight television camera guinea pig Communist Gangster Computer God MASTER RACE! You're LIVING, THINKING mad, deadly worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God SECRET OVERALL PLAN: WORLDWIDE LIVING DEATH FRANKENSTEIN SLAVERY to explore and control the ENTIRE UNIVERSE with the endless "STAIRWAY TO THE STARS" - namely the manmade inside-out planets with nucleonic powered speeds MUCH faster than the speed of light! Look up and see the Gangster Computer God concocted NEW FAKE STARRY SKY! The worldwide completely controlled deadly degenerative climate and atmosphere through the new world round Translucent Exotic Gaseous Envelope which the worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God MANIPULATES through countless exactly positioned satellites; THE NEW FAKE PHONY "STARS" IN THE SYNTHETIC "SKY"!!

WHERE'S THE KOSHER?

2006-10-06T07:31:00.000-07:00

PALOMAS

KEEPEE DOODEE

2006-10-06T07:24:00.000-07:00

HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMAN?
ALL YOUR DOOKIE ARE BELONG TO US
YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SPRAY FABREEZE
MAKE YOUR TIME
AHAHAHAHAHA

Hi, my name is little Jimmy. Last Saturday night, I was taken in at Palomas in Baltimore where they nursed me back to health with tainted whiskey and 8balls. I may only be 8, but I do believe that I've found God inside the gaping hole in my chest where my soul was removed. I like the Predator, it's a good movie. Where are my feet?

PALOMAS PALOMAS PALOMAS PALOMAS PALOMAS! THAT IS THE CHANT I USE WHEN I TAKE A DOODIE!

2006-10-05T21:30:00.000-07:00

Are you a local Baltimore music act? Would you like to be promised reasonable sums of cash and not delivered that amount? NOW IS YOUR CHANCE!

PALOMAS

That's right, PALOMAS!!!!!111(C)TM(R).... If you like shadyness, listen to these testimonials:
My bum was fondled by a bum living under the stairs -Sir Walter Relay Esquire
A dog was licking the beer off my crotch and then I smelled like fire. -John Donson
Cucumbers are good? What was the question? -Mr. Help Me My Hair Is On Fire

SAKKA POOPIE DOOPIE

2006-10-05T21:23:00.000-07:00

chimchamchoopa loopa caramba not espanyola
HEY YOU! MAKE ME PUNCH MY CROTCH

YAHH MAKE ME SO ANGRY I TYPA TYPA TYPA WITH MY NOSEEEEEE!

ABBIE DOOBIE

2006-10-05T21:21:00.000-07:00

THE INTERNET
IS FOR
PALOMAS

foofoo

holy moly

LAWSUIT

I'd like to take this opportunity...

THE JOB IS NOT YET DONE!!!!111!

Celebrities at Palomas?????

All You Know About Me Is What I Sold You

Today on my trip to Palomas

RRRRRRRRRRIVER BITTON BOTTOM NIGHTMARE BAND

SEEYOUATPALOMAS.COM

Real stuff from the paper about Palomas

Palomas: The Breakfast Cereal: The Movie: The Ride: The Haiku

RIVER: >8DME: <:OOLD MAN THAT TALKS TO HIMSELF: B-|DOG THAT EATS MY SOUL: 3BP

Palomas

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

River Bottom Nightmare Band

Unrelenting Assault

Y HALO THAR

MY HANDS WON'T FIT AROUND YOUR NECK

WHAT MORE? OKAY!

FROM CITAYPAPUH LOLOLLloo!L1

PALOMAS SAMOLAP OHGOD NOT AMBIGRAM

WHERE'S THE KOSHER?

KEEPEE DOODEE

PALOMAS

PALOMAS

PALOMAS

SAKKA POOPIE DOOPIE

ABBIE DOOBIE

RIVER: >8D
ME: <:O
OLD MAN THAT TALKS TO HIMSELF: B-|
DOG THAT EATS MY SOUL: 3BP